wow. :)

just when i thought i'd seen it all

tori got me back on track. :P. i was failing! my happy thing was failing, and i'm not much of a quitter with stuff that actually MEANS something, and i'm determined to make this happy thing mean something. it will. so i'm not going to give it up just 6 hours after starting it. i will continue the struggle. i will conquer! *whoot!*

this is when we need william wallace with some inspiring speech on top of a horse. painted with blue facepaint, too. gotta be in character. and yes, preferably william wallace PRIOR to his quartering. and stretching. i forgot the historically correct term for the stretching. whoops.

still haven't made those cards. happy me really should get on that. :D

cuz i can...i can do it better :D

upon reading tori's blog (oops. secret's out, tor;) , i have come to a:

major life decision.

ready?

well, get ready. haha :P

okay, here goes:

i'm going to be....

happy!!!

yep. happy. that's right. all 5 letters. and yes, i just went back and counted the letters in happy to make sure there were 5. i was correct. thank goodness. it would have posed a problem in my happy-ness struggle. but it's not a struggle. it's a welcome challenge. why? because happy people don't have struggles. they welcome challenges, which makes them welcome challenges. yes, watch the adjective change to a verb with considerable confusion. ooh! repetition. mr. bray would be proud.

and you know what else?? my plan is already panning out! why? because tikla got into BYU Hawaii!!!!!!!!

wow!!

but yes. i'm going to be happy. tori and tikla were my inspiration for this new life goal, so i am going to go get my big box of useless paper and paste thingys and make them a couple of kick-butt cards.

Take Me Away--Lifehouse (and, once in a blue moon, MoonJar)
This time
What I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place
This time
You burned me with the way
You see past all the lies
You take it all away
I've seen it all
And it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

I try
To make my way to you
But still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do
I've seen it all
And it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away
[Bridge:]
Don't give up on me yet
Don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
But don't let me stay here alone

This time
What I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place
I've seen it all
And it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away
Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away...

even though the non-acoustic version of this song is really...well...NON-acoustic, and definitely outside the boundaries of my normal taste, i really love it. mainly because the lyrics are just so powerful. they're not terribly poetic or deeply stirring, they're just so painfully honest. it really makes me think hard. which is kinda stupid. most people are stirred into deep-thought-action by a well-written new york times editorial, but i'm inspired by acoustic lifehouse songs. but i suppose the time i spend thinking about stupid that is could be better spent accepting it and using it to make the most out of life.
but back to the point. the lyrics just say all there is to say about love. deep, undying love. the kind that lasts for longer than you ever thought it would. the kind that the notebook was built around, the kind that daisy and gatsby had. the kind that ilsa and rick had. it's just having that someone who you can't evict from your mind, even if you wanted to. it's having that person that, even when you compare them with every single thing you've seen during your time on this earth, they're still the best you've found, and the best you'll ever find, even if you spent the rest of your life denying it and searching for something better. it's having that person who will accept who you are, no matter who that is. it may not be someone they ever saw themselves loving, but instead someone who they know that they'll grow to love.

ugh. i hate being serious. not that i'm being serious now. this is my not-serious seriousness. but this evening i was serious, and it was annoying. it's always brought on by a major and tragic wardrobe malfunction, which is what i had this evening before mutual. tragic. absolutely tragic. so i'm standing there, with this group of wonderful friends, practically glaring because i'm dying to discuss like...i dunno...world hunger or something, rather than which color looks best on who. but you know what? that's dumb. why? because who cares about world hunger? i can't stop it. i can cut calories all i want, that's not going to feed someone in uganda. or ethiopia, if you've gotta be politically correct. ask anita if she's ever tried ethiopian food. i'm supposed to care about which cut of jeans looks best on the assorted butt types, which water game is best played with 35 screaming teenage girls and 3 kayaks. but sometimes, i just can't force myself to do it. sometimes i can't just suck it up and listen to someone tell me to be proud of being chamorro. i just wanted to laugh. sandwiched between a filipina and a canadian (who i was trying very hard not to be snippy with as she tried to show me exactly which page the articles of faith could be found on, after which i assured her that i was more than knowledgable of exactly where they were--i just didn't know them), i wanted to laugh at the irony. i mean, talk about a strange audience for that talk. but it made me think hard. what do i have to be proud of? growing up here, i'm alienated from my real "culture", though i couldn't pinpoint that for you even if i wanted to. saipan is my culture. but my skin isn't brown. so obviously there's something wrong with me. obviously i'm not worthy of regarding the islands as my home too, just because i'm pigmentally challenged.

i promise, i'm done. heehee. never give a teenage girl with PMS a keyboard. she'll use it to everyone else's detriment. not to mention her own.

i actually only felt the need to write this post in order to get patrick dempsey's rather awkward face shot off the opening page of my blog. hopefully this does the trick. :D

go to this site:

http://www.beanbagcentral.com/ccosas/promise.html

and read all 4 comics. you won't regret it.

well, if you have disturbingly high levels of testosterone, you might, but the rest of the free world will probably enjoy it.

:)

taylor's answer to my dad's bad taste: "how rude."

i love this song. i found it when i left my "white flag" CD running, even after the last song had ended. i noticed that, somewhat curiously, it hadn't restarted or just died. it just kept going, going, going until another song started, hidden after the last track on the CD. it's officially my favorite song on the album, because i love how it describes my relationship with the people that i love the most. when you're around, my whole soul is different. it's better. and it's obvious. :D



Closer
So leave your taxi waiting
And turn and close my door
And sit back down where you were sitting
A little closer than before

And when you look that serious
It just makes me want you more
And I've been meaning to tell you

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around
The closer you get, the better I feel

And yes I know you're nervous
Never seen you so unsure
You haven't touched your food tonight
And you're drinking more and more

And there's no need to hurry
Take your time I'll still be here
And I've been meaning to tell you

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around
the better I feel
The closer you get, the better you see
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around
The closer you get, the better I feel
The better I feel

We've been circling for time baby
We're coming down to land tonight
The wait is over and now it's easy
Everything's fine

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around, the better I feel
The closer you get, the better you see
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around
The closer you get, the better I feel

if i ever get married, this is how i will feel. and that's comforting sometimes, particularly when i'm pining after a slightly preoccupied adam brody. :P

survival of the momentary vegetarians

i felt the need to update, just in case there were any concerns for my health after the previous post.

i survived dinner. the piece of the meat monstrosity that i ate was about this size:

the potatoes were actually really good. and apparently full of minerals and stuff. i dunno. maybe my mom was just saying that to keep me from fasting. heehee. mothers can be very manipulative, you know.