a fine specimen of a man

ahhhhh.
moondance is ruined for me. *sob* i was browsing through my ipod's michael buble list and had to skip moondance when i came to it. such a tragic event....
i'm becoming partial to "crazy little thing called love", though. great guy, that michael buble. gotta love him.

here's a song for those in the boat, ladies and gentlemen:

crazy little thing called love
This thing called love I just can't handle it
This thing called love I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Crazy little thing called love

This thing (this thing)
Called love (called love)
It cries (like a baby)
In a cradle all night
It swings (woo woo)
It jives (woo woo)
It shakes all over like a jelly fish
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called love

There goes my baby
She knows how to rock 'n' roll
She drives me crazy
She gives me hot and cold fever
Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat

I gotta be cool, relax, get hip
And get on my track's
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motorbike
Until I'm ready
Crazy little thing called love

I gotta be cool, relax, get hip
And get on my track's
Take a back seat (ah hum), hitch-hike (ah hum)
And take a long ride on my motorbike
Until I'm ready (ready Freddie)
Crazy little thing called love

This thing called love I just can't handle it
This thing called love I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Crazy little thing called love

haha they say that lab reports don't write themselves...but i'm tempted to test that theory. i wonder if using the scientific method in my investigation will get me extra credit.

i'm still trying to process the accident. it's proving to be pretty difficult. it took me awhile to get out of the cycle of "what if" and "i could have", but i think i'm safely past that stage. i have never been so scared. the way the car flew across the road and down the hill into the trees, the way it slid down, the way i couldn't stop it--it all just replays in my mind. i can still feel the impact, i can still hear the crash. now i understand what people mean when they say "i just didn't see it." it didn't really hit me how close we had come, dan bi and i, until i realized that i couldn't get out of the car. i just couldn't handle it. i always liked to think that i could take anything, that i was strong, maybe a little mean at times, but that changed so quickly once the realization of how bad the crash could have been finally came. the car, i could handle. me getting hurt, i could handle. the other driver, i probably would have had trouble with. but not dan bi. all i could think was "i could've killed her." i just kept saying it, over and over, and no matter how many people told me that i was wrong, i couldn't stop. what if she hadn't been wearing her seat belt? it was then that it hit me how much i love my friends. it was when i saw melissa's face, when i saw that she was crying, that i realized how much pain i could've caused. how the car must've looked as it skidded off the road. how it must've sounded to send mr. bramlett running and the rest of the high school out onto the balcony. how madison must've sounded when she called taylor. how melissa hadn't known if we were hurt when she went to get ms. mili. it took me until the ride home to realize that if henry had been at school yesterday, he might've been in the backseat, where the impact was.
but we're okay. we are. and it took me a couple of hours of being very, very scared to realize that. and to fully comprehend the blessing we have in our everyday lives. sometimes, it's simply passing a test. other times, it's coming out of a car crash completely unscathed. but they're still there, regardless of the form they happen appear in.

but to my friends: i love you. very much. and i hope you'll tolerate me...because i might need a ride from time to time in the near future :P

re...a drop of golden sun!

something big happened on sunday night. are you ready for this?

i watched the sound of music for the first time...ever!!!

it was so awesome!!!

here's the conversation that followed right after the movie finished:
me: that's IT?!
mom: yes...
me: what do you mean?? they just walk into the mountains and, like, STAY there?!
mom: well, yes....
me: what if they, like, die?! the mountains are flipping high!! it's the flipping alps!!
mom: they all live...
me: how do you know?? one of them could just fall off!!
mom: no, they were real people, they all lived.
me: really?
mom: really.
me: really??
mom: really.
me: really, really??
mom: really.

it was a pretty deep conversation. but wow. the von trapps were real people. how knarly is that??
during philosophy the following day (monday) i looked up at mr lee and informed him, "you look like captain von trapp!!" he was less than enthusiastic. flattered, i'm sure, because i guess he thought that captain von trapp was good looking, but he was sure he was undeserving of the comparison because the real captain could sing better.
fascinating, i know.

why not?

today mr. lee posed an interesting assignment (something you wouldn't have been able to tell upon hearing the shrieks and groans issued from the crowd when he tried to give us paper). but nonetheless, it was pretty interesting. we were to list 3 things we wanted to do and the corresponding things that kept us from doing what we wanted to do. my three things? pretty stupid, actually, but immediately recognizable, judging by the chuckle henry issued when mr. lee read the first one. here goes:
1. stop global warming
2. perform on Broadway
3. fly an airplane
not surprisingly, the third one was actually pretty popular (only among super-cool people, though, since both mel and i put it). but what i thought was really interesting was what mr. lee said after he read them. "the last two are possible, but not the first." at first, i was surprised that he thought that Broadway was feasible, but when i thought about it a little more, i realized that what really surprised me was that he thought the first one wasn't.
maybe i can't stop global warming, but i can try, right? i mean, if you don't try, what else can you do?
the thing that most stuck in my mind after seeing an inconvenient truth were the words right before the credits. they were suggestions, telling us how we can help stop global warming on an individual scale. i remember a few of them, but not as many as i would like.

• vote for leaders that will preserve the world we live in--it's the only one we have.
• spread knowledge: write to newspapers and magazines, call radio stations, tell them about what we're facing and how we can stop it.
• buy a hybrid car, if you are able. if not, walk or ride a bike whenever possible.
  
• use less energy. (this prompted me to turn off all the aircons in my house, greatly puzzling my mom upon her return home.)
• plant trees. lots of them.
• if you pray, pray.

i like the last one the most. it's certainly true. we need all the help we can get.

all of one heart

today was good. that's probably because it's only 2:45pm and i haven't started any of my homework yet, so it won't be good for long, but until then, the day remains faithfully good.
yesterday was NFL. it was LONG. that's really all i can think of to say about it. actually, i can think of a couple more things. it was HUNGER-inducing. if you know me, you know that on good days (notice i said good days, not all days) i like eating healthy food. they don't sell healthy food at NFL. it was sad. so from 8am to 5:30pm, i had the pleasure of ingesting anita's warm pear from her car, where she thought she had locked her keys, but really mr. easton had them. why, you might ask? i'll be darned if i can tell you. it was a good pear, though, even if it was warm. NFL was also headache-inducing. or maybe that was just gretchen. i'll be honest with you. for the first four hours we were there, i found the screaming swear words at anyone unfortunate enough to cross paths with her, as well as the constant violence against poor, unsuspecting bystanders (mainly in yong), kind of funny at first, especially since she was too afraid to punch me, since she knows quite well that i'm more buff than her. hahaha. but still. by 4:00, i was ready to introduce her to a few Italians with connections.

but now it's over. and i'm relieved, but really, really happy that i competed and that it turned out so well. i'll never look at kansas the same way.

happy easter!

so i read henry's post. it was pretty interesting, and since my name was mentioned in the post he made after that, i was so enthralled that i actually READ it. big step for me. :D but the point was that i read the post and thought that his ideas about pessimism were interesting. and that i don't think henry's a pessimist. he may be a lot of things (the best tuner-outer of caroline on the planet), but i don't think he's a pessimist.
pessimism is a tricky thing. i'd like to think that i'm an optimist. i'm pretty sure i am. as a content person, usually immune to deep thoughts (except about global warming, of course :P), i pretty much see my world as my canvas; something brought into existence for me to paint the prettiest colors i can create. sometimes some colors take more time and more guesses and checks than others, but they're usually worth it in the end, since they come out so good.
my faith is probably one of those colors. it took awhile to create, with a lot of adding whites and blacks, lightening and darkening, until i finally found what i think might be the right color for me. i guess it takes its place in the center of the painting, but with a pretty thick border around it, keeping the color from spreading into other portions of the painting. that can be hard sometimes, especially when i'm trying to decide which portion of the painting i should be standing on during a particular time, but the question usually answers itself if i do what i know i should.
i think that was a borderline allegory. ack. i should be locked up. they'll probably just take me to SIS (it moonlights as a mental hospital).
college has been a pretty common thought lately :S. sometimes the question is where i'll go, but other times it's a bigger one: what am i going to do? i don't know how to attack the problem. i don't even know if it's a problem. but i have managed to overcome one hurdle. i deciphered my dad. it was tough. here's the situation: dad doesn't like the idea of me going to college. why? he obviously wants me to be an uneducated old maid who lives in his house for the remainder of his life. and mine. but really. why? because he loves me. it was hard to actually look beyond his discouraging curmudgeon-ness and realize that he doesn't want to talk about where i'm going to go or what i'm going to major in because he doesn't want to think about me not being here with him. poor dad. i love how my mom knows him so well that she told me all this, without him ever saying a word to her, much less to me. i guess one thing (of many) that my parents have taught me is that it doesn't matter so much what you say, but what you do, how you're presenting yourself to be read. as much as we try to guard our emotions, people read us like open books (because closed ones would just be too darn depressing). we can put that wall they tried to build in the french woods during world war II around our hearts; it won't do much good. it'll wear us out, and our feelings will be just as obvious as they ever were.
wow. long post. the important part: i love my dad. and i love that he buys me shoes. :D