mocking a mocker

so taylor tells me today that i routinely mock people's attempts to be spiritual.

my first reaction? "ouch."

the sad thing is, though, that she probably has a point. i guess for awhile i've been operating under the misconception that sarcasm makes friends, or that cynicism is funny, when in reality neither of those things are particularly attractive qualities.

the nelsons taught a good sunday school lesson today. the thing that struck a chord in me, though, was that bro. nelson's spirituality-inducing exercise was something that, in a normal frame of mind, i would mock. but i thought about it for a second and realized that giving it a chance wouldn't cost me anything. so i did. i gave it a chance. to my great surprise, it worked. it did bring the Spirit, and it did remind me that even though we do act pretty dumb sometimes (to put it lightly), everyone does have a light in them, and everyone is capable of listening to that still, small voice. all that's necessary is someone who is willing to remind them that it is there. that's all we're missing. we're capable. we're blessed. we just get so caught up in sarcasm and cynicism and pseudo-wittiness that we forget or assume that we're better off without it. you know what they say about assuming, though, right?

that it's bad. i don't know what you were thinking, but that's the answer.

i wonder if sometimes we forget how headstrong we can be. imagine, just for a moment, how it would feel to face the world in total and complete solitude. take that feeling and multiply it by 100. that, i suppose, would be the result of an extinguished light, of a hushed still, small voice.

i heard today the most powerful testimony i have ever witnessed. it was borne by proxy, through sister nelson, but it was that of Elder McConkie, borne at General Conference only days before his death:
"And now as pertaining to this perfect Atonement, I testify that it took place at Gethsemane and at Golgotha. And as pertaining to Jesus Christ, I testify that he is the Son of the Living God who was crucified for the sins of the world. He is our Lord, our God, and our King. This I know of myself independent of any other person. I am one of his Witnesses. And in the coming day I will feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears. But I shall not know any better then than I know now that he is God's almighty Son and he is our Savior and Redeemer and that Salvation comes in and through his atoning blood and in no other way."

it's when i hear words like those and partake of such spiritual experiences as occurred today that i remember the small part of me that steals away, out of the harsh light of the world, away from the harsh words of others, and appreciates those testimonies and locks away those experiences in a place where they will be hidden, but still able to be recalled when needed most. it's when i hear living witnesses of God bear testimony of His existence and of the sacrifice of His son that i am thankful for that small part of me and become further dedicated to the task of keeping it hidden from the carelessness of adolescence, so that someday i might remember a time when instead of mocking attempts to do so, i was able to help bring the Spirit.

johnathan rhys-meyers...

can you say, "wow" ?

:P

today is my first day of school without melissa, who will be gone for nine days of school. i can already tell that i am going to be doing a LOT of homework for the next two weeks. hmph.

maybe dan bi will have pity and take me under her wing. she appears to be doing so already, since she's here in the senior room with me now.

yes, the senior room. the seniors, namely melissa and i, have taken the initiative to disregard the rule stating that no students are allowed in the room that used to serve as mrs. bray's (*sob*) office and have decided that the room should be used to accommodate the senior class. and miguel. and madison, of course, if she ever wants to chill.

mr. lee is probably going to start herding us into class in approximately 30 seconds.

today my beliefs have been confirmed. michael stewart really is one of the most irritating people inhabiting the planet at the moment. at this moment, he tops rush limbaugh, orlando bloom (because excessively good-looking people are kinda irritating, in a strictly jealousy-oriented sense), and the little voice in my head that reminds me when i have homework.

so much wisdom, so little concentration

1) One of the best feelings in the world is emptying your pockets in the evening, and knowing you can leave all the junk there until the next day.

2) Those who have guinea pigs never have to throw out any vegetables.

3) If you wear a silly hat, everyone knows who you are.

4) No one likes a smart aleck.

4') Especially another smart aleck.

4") Unless they have their own TV show, then they're a comic genius.

5) Arguing with a zealot is only slightly easier than tunneling through a mountain with your forehead.

6) Anyone capable of getting themselves elected president has shown that they should not be allowed to do the job. (Apologies to Douglas Adams)

7) Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. (Isaac Asmiov)

8) Right, because usually the compentent don't wait that long. (Jerry Pournelle)

9) Once is chance, twice is a coincidence, three times is an enemy action. (Ian Fleming, Goldfinger)

10) Never turn your back on a charging turtle.

11) Never get in a spitting contest with a llama.

12) Projectile vomiting rarely gets you a return invitation anywhere.

13) Never throw toilet paper on a bear.

14) Hyenas laugh becasue they know what's coming next.

15) Shooting yourself in the foot is actually a lot more fun than it sounds.

15') Shooting yourself in the foot is actually a lot less fun than nearly anything else.

16) Calling your mother and pretending to be an encyclopedia salesman doesn't go over too well.

17) The prime motivation for all human behavior is the need to feel superior to someone else.

18) He who laughs last should do so from a safe distance.

19) Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

20) The words "My" "Rash" "See" and "Wanna" don't go well together in a sentence.

21a) When given a choice, people will always do the dumbest thing under the circumstances.

21b) The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.

21c) Therefore: The larger the number of people, the stupider the resultant decisions and actions (congress anyone?)

22) Never ever go first.

23) When being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger. (Monty Python)

24) Rain on your wedding day is NOT ironic unless you're made of sugar.

25) Never take yourself too seriously, and mock those who do.

25') Also be sure to mock people who take themselves too seriously.

25") Those who never take anything too seriously have a distinct advantage over those who do.

26) The more you understand, the crazier you get.

27) Bad losers make worse winners.

28) The quickest way to make someone ignore you is to start a sentence with "You should ..."

29) People who habitually give advice are the worst people to take advice from.

30) If you insist on getting your way often enough, pretty soon you won't have to argue with anyone about it anymore.

31) Peoples' names should not be verbs or adjectives.

32) There's nothing wrong with the world that shooting 99% of the population wouldn't cure.

33) All indicators show that the human race is selectively breeding itself for stupidity.

34) If "obscene" words were made a part of common everyday language, after a week, no one would care anymore.

34') After two weeks, a new batch of "obscene" words will have been invented.

35) One of the most important things to learn is when to quit while you're ahead.

35') Most people never learn.

36) Anyone who says exactly what you want to hear knows it.

37) Anger is easy, anger at the right person, at the right time, for the right reason, that's hard. (Ulysses)

38) You can live for many causes, but you can only die for one. Pick that one very carefully.

39) Never allow anything to be named after you until you're safely dead.

40) No corpse, no death. (DC Comics)

40') Even if there is a corpse, they still may not be dead. (DC Comics)

40") Don't believe everything you read in comic books.

43) Dying is easy, living is hard.

44) You can always get more with a kind word and a 2-by-4 than with just a kind word. (Marcus)

45) The beauty of the American system of government is that you could wipe out the executive, legislative, and judicial branches, and 99% of the population wouldn't notice.

46) If you always tell the truth, people will stop believing you. (based on Richard Feynman's life)

47) Some people just never learn.

48) Most things in this world are done for no good reason.

49) Any gift that can't be thrown away is really a trap. (Dr. Morgenes, via Tad Williams)

directorial un-debut

if we were face to face, you would be looking at the new director of the ITS Chapter Play production of "Up the Down Staircase".

yay!!!!

my dad is cool.

why?

because he saw Elvis in concert! THE Elvis! Elvis Presley! He saw him! In concert! In the '50s!

i am seriously in shock.

i can't believe he never told me before.

and then he tells me that he and all his friends were jealous of elvis because all the girls loved him, so as the poor guy was walking by, they tried to throw beer at him. i almost cried.

poor elvis!!

Leave the Pieces

You're not sure that you love me,

but you're not sure enough to let me go.

Baby it ain't fair ya know

to just keep me hangin' round.

You say you don't wanna hurt me,

don't wanna see my tears.

So why are you still standin' here,

just watchin' me drown?

And it's all right,

yeah, I'll be fine, don't worry 'bout this heart of mine,

just take your love and hit the road.

There's nothing you can do or say,

you're gonna break my heart anyway,

so just leave the pieces when you go.

Now, you can drag out the heartache,

baby, you could make it quick.

Really get it over with

and just let me move on.
Don't concern yourself

with this mess you left for me.

I can clean it up, you see,

just as long as you're gone.

And it's all right,

yeah, I'll be fine, don't worry 'bout this heart of mine.
Just take your love and hit the road.

There's nothing you can do or say,

you're gonna break my heart anyway.

So just leave the pieces when you go.

You're not makin' up your mind,

it's killin' me and wasting time.

I need so much more than that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
And it's all right,

yeah, I'll be fine, don't worry 'bout this heart of mine

Just take your love and hit the road.

There's nothing you can do or say,

you're gonna break my heart anyway.

So just leave the pieces when you go.
Leave the pieces when you go, oh yeah,
Leave the pieces when you go,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Leave the pieces when you go.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1xUEotaEzbE

egomaníaco

i am a firm believer in the fact that being a teenager sucks. i'm not sure why it is necessary for us to spend 5-7 years locked in a cycle of insecurity, self-doubt, and dissatisfaction. probably something about character building.

people on the O.C. never seem to have to build character. if orange county can do it, why can't we? seriously! i don't see what rachel bilson has that we don't. besides perfection. and adam brody. well, not anymore, i guess, since they broke up like months ago. regardless, the point still stands.

so my mom has decided that it would be better for her (keyword: her) if she moved to thailand next month to live in a refugee camp and do some sort of healthcare thing. i'm seriously trying to be optimistic. like seriously trying. none of this half-wit-trying stuff. full-on, concentrated trying. and i'm still not optimistic. thus, it seems fair to say that despite my best efforts, i am officially declaring the suckiness of this situation. i think this could be fairly called a suckfest.

why, you might ask, is this a suckfest? it just is! no, i don't always get along with my mom, and yes, she drives me completely and totally off the wall almost every day, but underneath all that i happen to like her a whole lot and it's kind of nice to have my whole family around, since there are only three of us. but no. mom has decided that being a total egomaniac is exactly what the doctor ordered and it is what she is going to do.

the upside? there is no upside. i suppose that having only one parent (and a clueless one at that) around will make it easier to do what i want when i want, but since i don't usually do sneaky stuff, that just means that no one will care. i mean, they already don't care, but this means full-on 24/7 apathy. yikes. not looking forward to that.

hmph.