mocking a mocker

so taylor tells me today that i routinely mock people's attempts to be spiritual.

my first reaction? "ouch."

the sad thing is, though, that she probably has a point. i guess for awhile i've been operating under the misconception that sarcasm makes friends, or that cynicism is funny, when in reality neither of those things are particularly attractive qualities.

the nelsons taught a good sunday school lesson today. the thing that struck a chord in me, though, was that bro. nelson's spirituality-inducing exercise was something that, in a normal frame of mind, i would mock. but i thought about it for a second and realized that giving it a chance wouldn't cost me anything. so i did. i gave it a chance. to my great surprise, it worked. it did bring the Spirit, and it did remind me that even though we do act pretty dumb sometimes (to put it lightly), everyone does have a light in them, and everyone is capable of listening to that still, small voice. all that's necessary is someone who is willing to remind them that it is there. that's all we're missing. we're capable. we're blessed. we just get so caught up in sarcasm and cynicism and pseudo-wittiness that we forget or assume that we're better off without it. you know what they say about assuming, though, right?

that it's bad. i don't know what you were thinking, but that's the answer.

i wonder if sometimes we forget how headstrong we can be. imagine, just for a moment, how it would feel to face the world in total and complete solitude. take that feeling and multiply it by 100. that, i suppose, would be the result of an extinguished light, of a hushed still, small voice.

i heard today the most powerful testimony i have ever witnessed. it was borne by proxy, through sister nelson, but it was that of Elder McConkie, borne at General Conference only days before his death:
"And now as pertaining to this perfect Atonement, I testify that it took place at Gethsemane and at Golgotha. And as pertaining to Jesus Christ, I testify that he is the Son of the Living God who was crucified for the sins of the world. He is our Lord, our God, and our King. This I know of myself independent of any other person. I am one of his Witnesses. And in the coming day I will feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears. But I shall not know any better then than I know now that he is God's almighty Son and he is our Savior and Redeemer and that Salvation comes in and through his atoning blood and in no other way."

it's when i hear words like those and partake of such spiritual experiences as occurred today that i remember the small part of me that steals away, out of the harsh light of the world, away from the harsh words of others, and appreciates those testimonies and locks away those experiences in a place where they will be hidden, but still able to be recalled when needed most. it's when i hear living witnesses of God bear testimony of His existence and of the sacrifice of His son that i am thankful for that small part of me and become further dedicated to the task of keeping it hidden from the carelessness of adolescence, so that someday i might remember a time when instead of mocking attempts to do so, i was able to help bring the Spirit.