angst.

i'm going crazy. not just partially insane. this is a full-on descent into complete pyschosis. i can't take this waiting, biding my time, sitting on my hands, wondering, torturing myself about whether i got my scholarship applications in at the right minute, trying to figure out whether or not "january 3" means before midnight at the end of january 2 or before 11:59pm on january 3. if i didn't get that application in, can i pay for college? if i didn't get the UT scholarship application in at the right minute, i certainly can't. i'll have no options. i'll be $160,000 in debt by the time i'm 22. does the pyschosis seem at all justified??

i have no idea what to do. this is just so frustrating. i'm sitting here going through the Tulane website trying to figure out whether or not i'm elligible for their other merit scholarships even though i chose not to apply for the Dean's Honor scholarship, which involved being incredibly creative and making a DVD presentation about a 2x2-inch BOX. i gave up. completely. apparently, though, you are automatically considered for their other merit scholarships just by turning in an application for admission. after frantically going through my hotmail inbox and finding the email from the CommonApp that completely confirmed by submission of the application. see?? i'm going nuts! i KNOW i submitted my applications. i completed 7 applications (well...like 4...but still) and applied to 7 schools and i KNOW that i sent them in! but i'm tricking myself into thinking that something is going to go wrong and the fact that i will be admitted to absolutely no colleges (thereby making the problem of paying for college completely negligible) will be completely and udderly my fault--and all because i got my application in 32 seconds after the deadline.

i have a headache. and i ate a bunch of honey nut cheerios to make the stress go away, but, not surprisingly, that just didn't do the trick. hopefully i'll get into college so that i can be so broke that i won't be able to buy food and therefore will be unable to stress-eat in incredibly stressful situations like this one. :

lol. this is so completely ridiculous.

oh--i can't believe they cancelled the golden globes!! i was explaining the writers' strike to melissa the other day and i realized how very dumb it all is. why don't the people they're striking against just agree to the demands! it's not that hard! and now we can't critique the nominees' bad red carpet choices! it's criminal! :O