you know what drives me completely nuts?

fake people.

if you're a jerk, at least be honest about it. sneaking around and doing it behind people's backs is just cowardly. if you want to be cool, be yourself. if you don't think you're cool as yourself, then change ALL of you, not just the part that's around certain people. then you're like a wall that only has half of it done in plaid wallpaper and the other half in some puce-colored paint.

now THERE's a simile for you.